Fast food one night stand
Eating fast food is just like a one night stand. I am convinced of this and have research (my own personal experiences) to back me up.
I don’t make it a habit to eat fast food. Or partake in one night stands. Anymore. College was another time, man. A lifetime ago, really.
Once in a while, if I’m at work or road tripping or because they put chemicals in the “food” to make it palatable and addictive, I’ll cave. Sometimes I don’t want a good burger.
“Home of the Good Burger! May I take your or-der?”
Man, I loved that show and spin-off movie.
I have and probably will continue to occasionally punish myself with a terrible fast food burger. And I hate myself a little each time. In just a few greasy bites, I’m able to relive my college days of knowingly making bad decisions and not caring. Because I’m an adult! I do what I want!
Due to the (probably too many, if my tight jeans are an indication) occasional, partaking of fast food and very very distant memories of college. I’ve realized that there are six identifable stages of fast food eating/ one stand partaking.
Stage 1: The Justification
Oh. My. GOD, I want it! I must have it! It’s been too long! I haven’t had in forever. One time isn’t going to kill me. I’ve been good for soooooo long. I deserve to be bad every once in a while!
Stage 2: The Anticipation
On my way to get it! This is going to be awesome! I don’t know why I stopped doing this. I’m so excited, clearly the end result will meet my increasingly high expectations! Woooo! Party time!
Stage 3: The First Bite
FINALLY! Come to mama! It’s so so so good! I can taste colors and hear smells! Amazing! I will never be without this in my life ever again! Flying high!
Stage 4: The Awakening
This…is not as good as I was hoping it would be. This is kinda greasy and dirty and heavy. Ew
Stage 5: The Regret
Why am I still engaging in self destructive behavior like this?! Didn’t I learn last time? This was a terrible idea! What was I thinking? I’m just going to pretend this was sensible salad/ Ben Affleck.
Stage 6: The Promise
I’m going to go for a run/ join a convent. I clearly can’t trust myself. I am NEVER doing that again. Worst idea ever!
Tags: burger, fast food, one night stand
[...] Fast Food One Night Stand - So, I haven’t eaten fast food in over 10 years but I occasionally get these cravings and I know that if these cravings coincided with me being in proximity of a fast food joint, this would absolutely be me, start to finish. [...]
I love this, and it’s mostly true for me, except I never really “gave up” fast food completely. I just decided to not eat it very often, and more recently there’s another stage I have noticed that is more of an issue then it used to be. Stage 7 is bloatiness and nausea followed by some unpleasant gas, then followed by a second stage of regret and a declaration to not eat fast food again.
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